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Vine by mary birdsong

My Six Second Selfie-Helpy Show! (Ep. 1)

I think positive affirmations are rill, rill important, y’all. So Imonna   post a new manifestin’, motivatin’  movie (a rill, rill short one like this here one) evvvvver single Mundee. I love all-uh-y’all so don’t forget it. Bye.

Video Killed the Radio Star, But It Performed CPR On Me!

Look, y’all… I don’t know a whole lot about computers.  Like, for example… When I read the word “embed” on the youtubes I thought it must be like a new-fangled kinda bed.  YOU know… ike a iPhone is a new-fangled kinda phone? But my friends Kymm and Kehlee who are cashiers at the store told me that embed is how you make people see videos on your bloggy thing. And I learned it! I learned how to make embeds!  So here is a video playlist I just embedded for all o’ y’all:
These clips harken* back all the way to my MySpace days.

*Empathios learned me that word (harkens). Ain’t it pretty? I think it sounds like angel talk. If ever I do meet a angel Imonna say it a lot.

p.s. I think the History Channel and that nice, Greek man with the big hair and the nice tan are right. I think all the angels are actually ancient astronauts and extra-terrestrials. Lotta folks is a’scared of extra-terrestrials, but I don’t have no problem with ’em. I mean, if other planets got a whole lotta extras they need to git rid of, I don’t see why they cain’t send ’em on down here to Earth. There’s sooooo much room on our planet anyways. [You ever driven through Nebraska? I have (or at least, my two daddys did- they drove a big rig when I was real little and they’d take me with ’em on long hauls). Even though I WAS real little, I was still tall enough to see out the winduhs.] And TRUST me- we got a whole lotta empty space here if other planets got extra critters they need to get rid of.

Besides- it just means more new clients for me! Maybe the missionary position is real exotic to them!

Why Cosplay Girls Annoy The Shit Out Of Me

I’m the 99 Cent Whore, a feminist, and I approved this blog post.


I am anticipating a sudden drop in my number of online friends and an immediate rise in hatemail. Why? Because today I am calling out cosplay girls.

I am a science fiction fan, and I mean that in the “I know who Theodore Sturgeon, Robert Sheckley, Fredirik Pohl and a whole bunch of other people you have no idea are because you think watching 6 seasons of Lost made you a hardcore Sci-Fi fan” and you’d think that I would be all about hot chicks picking up on my interests, but I am not. Why? Because these girls, as a general rule, suck.

The first thing about cosplay girls is that their average age is 11-17 years old. Now, I don’t have my law degree by any means but I am pretty sure that even SEEING a girl who is 14 and thinks a public appropriate outfit is one where…

View original post 2,021 more words

They Don’t Write Em Like That Anymore… Hop In My “Valen-Time Machine” to the 1920s!

There just ain’t nothin’ as sweet/sad as this bunch of old, used Valentines I bought on Ebay from the 1920s & 30s… written by little boys and girls with names  like Henrietta, Hortense, and Maynard–

IMG_0684They’re sweet cuz they’re all so rosy-cheeked and innocent.  And sad cuz they’re all probably dead by now.  Like… DAYYYYY-UD dead. Well, at least they HAD a Valentine. I’m alive, sure enough, but with nary a sweetheart to be found.  So if y’all don’t mind, I’m gonna get in my science fiction Valen-Time Machine and git to smoochin with Maynard.

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january 12th 2015